Hello, my name is Raven Slaght and I am honored to be recognized for February’s Zebra Spotlight. I am a 30-something year old wife and stay at home mama to three beautiful, wild, and crazy kiddos. My calling in life was to be a mother, and I am happy to say that is what I get to spend my time doing; wife-ing and mom-ing.
I have been a member of Zebra Nation as a Mama Zebra for my son, Elliott, for 9.5 years. He has had some oxygen issues since birth that doctors have not really been able to figure out. They are managed with supplemental oxygen with rest.
I, myself, joined the Zebra club in January of 2021 when I was diagnosed with a rare disease called Trigeminal Neuralgia, or TN. TN is an incredibly painful disease affecting the 5th cranial nerve, the trigeminal nerve. In a nutshell, TN is pain on one side of the face. It can include a myriad of symptoms-from electric-like shocks, stabbing pain, feeling like you got punched in the face, burning, tingling, dull aches, pounding on that side of your head, etc. It is so painful that it is referred to as “the suicide disease.” Unfortunately, some people take their own lives to get relief from the pain. TN is often caused by a microvascular compression on the nerve. Other times, like in my case, an injury, infection, or irritation is what caused the disease. A botched root canal on one of my teeth caused my disease to develop. My TN began in just that one area but has since travelled to affect all three branches of the nerve, and the entire right side of my head.
TN can be treated with medications, some less invasive procedures, and in some cases, a microvascular decompression surgery where the artery is moved away from the nerve within the brain. My symptoms are currently semi-controlled with medications, but I am also in a lot of pain daily.
5 Invisible Symptoms
- Stabbing pain throughout the entire right side of my face and scalp caused by a multitude of triggers, including wind/air blowing on my face, light touch, stray hairs falling against my face, cold air, vibration from riding in a car, brushing and washing my hair, and the list goes on…
- Ringing and piercing pain in my right ear, best described as an icicle stabbing my ear.
- Difficulty sleeping due to constant pain causing chronic fatigue and brain fog.
- Burning, tingling, and creepy crawly feelings on my face and scalp.
- Painful teeth and jaw, exacerbated by chewing, drinking, and brushing my teeth.
4 Things That Help Me Manage Pain
- Drinking through a straw and chewing on the opposite side of my mouth.
- Stretching my neck and jaw, what seems like all day, every day. Massage and deep pressure all over my head. The deep pressure feels like it counteracts the pain sometimes.
- Distraction – and boy, do I have a lot of that with three kids between 3 and 9 years old.
- Hot and Cold therapy. This can be tricky because sometimes one or both of these can cause more pain. When this happens, I have to reassess and pivot my approach to attempt to get some relief.
3 Ways My Life Has Changed
- I have to be painstakingly aware of my environment and external triggers. Will loud noise bother my ear? Will the bright lights cause a migraine? If I am outdoors, will the wind and air temperature cause pain? There are so many thoughts that go into every action of every day.
- I have gained appreciation for the things that truly matter to me. It is much easier to say no to things that don’t bring me or my family fulfillment, especially when I know these things will be packed full of pain triggers.
- I have learned so much about myself. I am strong, brave, resilient, tough, and the list goes on and on. I have become a mother who sacrifices a lot more for my children. Many things we do as a family will cause me pain. I choose to do the things that bring my children joy because that in turn brings me joy, regardless of the pain. Seeing my children happy, enjoying their lives, laughing and giggling, quite literally warms my heart.
2 People Who Inspire Me
- My parents. My Dad is the kindest, most giving and caring human I have ever met. He loves with everything he has, and you should consider yourself lucky if you are ever the recipient of his loving kindness. He taught me to love like Jesus does. My mom is the epitome of strength. She has been one of the hardest working people I know. My mom has been an example of bravery and resilience. And my parents are the greatest Grammy and Bumpa on the planet! My kids are so lucky!
- My husband inspires me every day. He stepped up for the task of providing for our family when I wasn’t able to return to work after our oldest was born with medical complexities. I have never met a person who works harder for their family than he does. And he does that all while supporting his chronically ill wife, and children. If I could choose a man for my daughter, I hope he is a mixture of my Daddy and her Daddy.
1 Thing You Want People to Know
Kindness matters.
Laughter is the best medicine.
You can do hard things.