Hello, I’m Mark Ferrin. I’m a zebra and I’m also an alcoholic who has been alcohol free for over 18 years. I’ve spent most of my life doing structural maintenance…warehouses, manufacturing, and shipping industries which included lots of driving and fixing. I also have practical experience in two dozen different occupations.
These days I am an artist, currently teaching myself to paint with oils on canvas, which is the speed my body appreciates now. Most of the things I have done for a living aren’t very body friendly and were often performed in inclement weather.
Just over 18 years ago, I pulled my head out of a 750ml liquor bottle and started to take my life and health seriously. That was the time I was also told by my doctors, “Hey, remember all that pain you have been complaining about since you were a kid? Well, it’s real and it’s not in your head!”
Medicine was very different in the ‘70s, so for the last 17 years I have been learning what issues I have with my body and deciphering the medical, insurance, and pharmaceutical company’s protocols, procedures, and practicalities in order to keep my body from quitting on me. Throughout this process, I have been able to get most of my blood work in a normal range, I have been able to shrink my liver back down to a “nominal size,” and I have dropped half of my body weight. I also quit tobacco, certain foods are now a rarity, and doing Tai Chi with a few yoga movements each day is my goal.
Is my life different?
Drastically! But it is so worthwhile.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), Degenerative Disc Disease, and Psoriatic Arthritis were the first three diagnoses I was hit with, and then Peripheral Neuropathy came later. At first, I resisted changing my life. Then, the doctors decided they wanted to do a liver biopsy…I thought, “Wait a minute now!” My GI problems were being very persistent, so I relented. And that’s when the doctors got my attention. When they told me I had Cirrhosis of the liver, I froze. I wouldn’t say I was shocked, since I had drunk a lot of alcohol in the past. I felt more disgusted than anything, and some fear. I started educating myself on my diseases and started making some common sense changes in my life. I have moved recently and have started seeing new doctors in the University of Michigan medical system. My newest diagnosis is Fibromyalgia, and I’m currently testing to see if I will be diagnosed with Sarcoidosis.
5 Invisible Symptoms
- Pain – I have bone on bone, and bone on nerve. I have lost so much soft tissue in my joints that I have shrunk 2 inches in the past 20 years! When my PSA flairs, my joints swell, and then my Cirrhosis flares. To describe Neuropathy is difficult, but here’s a couple of examples…You know the static discharge you get from a doorknob in the winter? Well, multiply that by 100, 24 hours a day. Or Neuropathy is like if a Tens unit is stuck at level 80, with no way to shut it off…the nerves are always stuck in the “ON” position.
- Fatigue – I go to bed tired, and I wake up tired, but sleep is only part of the equation. Rest helps sometimes, but I’m often in too much pain to sit so I stand a lot. When I do sit, it’s in bizarre positions to facilitate some semblance of comfort.
- Insomnia – For most of my life, I have had insomnia. I have a practical fix now, but it was really bad for a long time.
- Tissue Breakdown – In basic terms, the soft tissue in my joints is breaking down. The goal has always been to slow down the speed that it’s degrading.
- Stiffness -My favorite; remember the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz? Yeah. That’s my life. Sometimes it’s an hour on good days, but bad days can take hours. It’s been a while since I gave up on a whole day. But it can happen.
4 Things That Help Me Manage Pain
- Movement -Tai Chi, stretching, some yoga, walking, and meditation. I never stop moving. When I get up in the morning, my first thought is, “Okay, let’s go”.
- Dietary Changes – I kill off gluten as much as possible. Deep fried? Oh no, I air fry! I eat very little pork or red meat, and I eat a low sodium diet. I’m horrible with sugar, but I’m trying! I’m currently off soda so that helps! No booze, no tobacco. I’m still better than I was, but I’m a long way from great…a dietitian would probably shred me over my diet in some ways.
- Weight control – This can be a very difficult subject for some. For me, my journey included thorough diet and exercise. It took years to get it all off, but I kept the same mind set from the beginning which was, “Stop eating more than you need, Mark!” I count calories and I read labels. Reading labels will help you stop eating some of your favorite junk food. There is MSG in Doritos y’all!
- Cannabis – Medical pain management was sanctioned drug dealing for me. When they got me on Fentanyl and Morphine Sulfate things changed, to put it simply. The drugs were killing me the same way the alcohol had tried to do. I chose CBD and THC, over narcotics. Pharmaceuticals can be deadly.
3 Ways My Life Has Changed
- Work-I struggled to stay employed after my diagnoses, and I did pretty good for a couple of years. But eventually I couldn’t keep up with the demands of the job. Being dependent on disability really sucks, but not having it to depend on would be worse. I’m in an anything is possible mindset these days. I know the future isn’t written in stone.
- Vehicles and Transport – I have done my own maintenance on my vehicles since my teens, but not anymore. My hands cannot take the abuse anymore. Consequently, I currently do not own a vehicle.
- Hobbies – Due to the physical limitations I’m now faced with, many of the hobbies I used to enjoy are now no longer things that I can or should be doing. For example, I use to spend days fishing and hunting, and now that’s just something I need to avoid. Bacteria is one major reason for this, while weight limitations are another. Wearing an N95 to enjoy the outdoors, during bad air quality days is a real buzzkill!
2 People Who Inspire Me
My two daughters:
- Sarah
& - Kattlyn
My kids are amazing people, and I’m truly grateful to have them in my life. I don’t really deserve them, but they still love my difficult butt, so what more can I say to top that!
1 Thing You Want People to Know
Things I have learned: It’s not over until you are. The doctors can make your head spin, but you must arm yourself with knowledge. Don’t focus on the bad days, and listen to your body, or bad days can become bad weeks. Diet plays a huge role in health, as does exercise. Pharmaceuticals can be deadly. Believe in yourself, and you are unstoppable.
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