Hello! My name is Madalena Hanthorn. There are so many ways to describe me: mom, wife, Air Force veteran, breast cancer survivor, dragon boat paddler and coach, Life as a Zebra Foundation treasurer. But the reason I’m this month’s Zebra Spotlight is I’m also a person living with multiple sclerosis.
In March 2005, I suddenly experienced unexplained stabbing pain and numbness in my right arm. My doctor suspected a pinched nerve, so she ordered MRIs. I was absolutely floored when the MRI results showed I have multiple sclerosis. I spent the next few weeks swinging through a huge range of emotions to include shock, grief, anger, and denial. It took a while, but I finally arrived at acceptance. I realized my MS wasn’t going anywhere, so I had to figure out how to make peace with it and live my best life with a chronic, progressive illness.
20 years after diagnosis, I am grateful to remain active and strong. I’m sure much of my success is due to the fact that I was diagnosed so quickly after my symptoms began, allowing me to start disease-modifying therapy right away. So many Zebras live with symptoms for months or even years before they get a diagnosis. I think a lot of my success also comes from my attitude. I refuse to wallow or play the “why me?” card. As Carlos Castaneda wrote: “We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”
5 Invisible Symptoms
- Numbness and tingling in my extremities, especially when my core temperature rises.
- Constant muscle tightness in my legs and feet. I’m always one wrong move away from a massive charley horse.
- Fatigue
- Muscle weakness, especially in my hands
- Vertigo and balance issues, especially when I walk downstairs
4 Things That Help Me Manage Pain
- Stretching
- Keeping my muscles strong through lifting weights, running/walking, and paddling.
- Wickedly sarcastic and self-deprecating sense of humor
- Mindfulness exercises like grounding, breathing, and yoga nidra
3 Ways My Life Has Changed
- My overall attitude has evolved, and I’ve come to embrace many of the tenets of Stoicism. I focus on what I can control, change what I can change, and try not to complain or worry about the rest of it. I even had the Stoic motto “Amor Fati” tattooed on my left ankle.
- I’ve actually become more physically active since my diagnosis. I realized many of my symptoms improve with physical activity, so I took up distance running (I ran 3 full marathons, 15 half marathons, and countless shorter races), weightlifting, and golf. Age, the progression of my MS, and the aftereffects of my breast cancer chemo have ended my distance running days, but now I channel that energy into dragon boat racing.
- It took a long time to get there, but I finally realized I don’t have to prove how tough I am. It’s okay for me to say no or take a break when I need it. Now there’s no shame in my nap game!
2 People Who Inspire Me
- Jimmy Heuga. Jimmy was an alpine ski racer and the first American to win an Olympic medal in the sport. After his career was cut short by an MS diagnosis, he became a pioneering advocate of exercise and activity to combat the disease.
- The members of my dragon boat racing team, the Kentucky Thorough-Breasts. These women beat breast cancer and now work and train hard to beat our competition on the water. So honored to be their friend, teammate, and coach.
1 Thing You Want People to Know
Attitude is everything.
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” -Epictetus
To read all of our previous zebra spotlights, please click here.